Chapter 1

...Zidane finally woke up today. Scared me good though. Doctor says it's gonna be a while before he's going to be better. Zidane told me some things that startled me...
--From Cloud's journal

...I felt like I was lost in the dark...I really didn't care at the time...until I heard Cloud call out. Then I remembered...Garnet, my friends, the promise...mine and Garnet's song...That song gave me the strength to come back. What was weirder is I could remember back farther than I ever could before...into a time that I've revisited time and again in my worst nightmares. Still can, and it scares me. I found out why too. Darn that Guardian! ...Anyway, I like Arella better than Loki. Loki's got a bad habit of yanking on tails. If he yanks on mine again, he's gonna get his hide tanned. At least Cloud gave me permission to do that. Oh, I just wish I'd hurry up and get better...then I can go back to Gaia...
--From Zidane's journal

It had been a month since that day that Zidane had unexpectedly appeared in the kitchen. Cloud, as usual, was sitting by the bed, next to Zidane. Tifa had checked on him a bit ago and had gone away.

Cloud gripped Zidane's hand. He was really upset; the doctor had told him he was afraid that Zidane wouldn't wake up.

"Zidane! ZIDANE!" Cloud cried out. He started to cry..."Don't you remember me? The times we had?...I'm waiting for ya, you scamp! Your friends back home must be worried sick! They're waiting for you too... Please...whereever you are, come baaaack! I'm not gonna abandon you, not now!" he leaned his head against Zidane's hand and the tears really started to come...

Time never seemed to pass...There was a glimmering light that beckoned him, but something was holding him back from going that way...He didn't remember who he was or where he had come from. He heard someone talking to him from far away, about this and that. Then he heard the shout."ZIDANE!" and the person saying that his friends were waiting for him... Friends...? Suddenly, a glimmer of light floated near him...and he remembered... Steiner...Eiko...Vivi...Freya...Quina...Amarant...GARNET! He finally remembered who was talking too. It was Cloud! Been six years!! Garnet's face swam before his eyes for a while...he remembered...it all came back to him...and more...

....promise me.......
....one thing........
..please come back...

He then remembered Garnet's song, and began to sing it, because it gave him the courage to go away from the light. Somehow, he knew this was going to hurt...Don't worry, I'm coming! Not...gonna...let...her...down!

Tifa appeared at the door again. "Cloud?" she said. Then she heard a low moan from the figure on the bed. "CLOUD!!"

Cloud looked up. Zidane moaned again. "Oh my...Doctor, where's that dratted doctor?!" Tifa ran to get that doctor, since he'd gone downstairs for just a minute. The doctor dashed in with the nurse that had been helping him and they both did some quick checks. "Heart rate's up...he's hyperventilating a bit..." The nurse said, "He's not dying..."

Cloud stood up. "I think I know..." He grabbed Zidane's hand and held it firmly. "Zidane? Zidane? Remember me? Come back, I promise I'll get ya home when you get better..." Zidane let out a scream at that and made everybody jump.

"Wait, you think he's coming out of it?", the doctor said. Cloud nodded. The doctor cocked his head and then said, "Let me check the EKG...". He looked at the machine by the bed. "You're right Cloud. He is. How?"

Cloud glanced at the doctor. "We were very good friends six years ago, that may have something to do with it..."

The doctor nodded. "Then that's why. Call him back, I think he hears you..." He removed the EKG net since it seemed it would be no longer necessary.

Cloud turned to Zidane again. "C'mon, wake up, Zidane. I'm here. I'll get you back to your friends. C'mon and wake up..."

Zidane moaned one more time, then his eyes opened and he squeezed Cloud's hand back. "Cloud? Long time no see..." Goodness, it's been a long time since he left...but why is he here? "...but, how did you get back?"

Cloud shook his head. "Get back?! No, this isn't Gaia. You've ended up on Vida..."

Zidane's eyes widened. "That doesn't seem possible..." But then a lady stepped into his line of view. She winked. "Not when your erm...arrival scares the heck out of me in my kitchen!" She looked familiar...it took Zidane a minute to place the face. It was the lady of the picture that Cloud had been carrying around..."Tifa?! Wha?"

Tifa looked startled, but Cloud turned a bit and winked at her. "I did have a picture of you with me back then, what do you expect?"

Tifa then grinned. "Oh, you!" and then she laughed.

Then Zidane got a better look around. There was a needle? in his arm? and it otherwise just seemed like a normal bedroom, other than stuff that made funny noises. That needle really bothered him, though. It stirred some memories of...being in a tube? He shook his head fast and thought for a second. Yes, he could vagely remember being trapped in a tube like some Genomes he'd seen in Bran Bal...something he couldn't remember before. Those memories were scenes from his worst nightmares. It made him shiver a little. But they also made him detest that thing in his arm. He reached over to yank it out, but Cloud grabbed him by the hand, then shook his head. His eyes seemed to say, "Don't do that" Zidane wondered why and struggled to sit up...it was harder than he thought. It took forever for him to dredge up the strength, and he was dizzy for a few seconds once he managed it. He noticed a man in a odd-looking white coat in one corner. Cloud looked that direction.

"I told you, Doctor. I didn't know how Zidane here would react...he's not from around here. How many times..."

"You know what I said. There was no choice."

"What are you talking about?" Zidane asked, surprised. He tried to remove the thing in his arm again, but Cloud wouldn't let him. He nodded.

The 'doctor' smiled and said, "I'm sorry...what seems to have happened is you pushed yourself way too far and someone cast healing magic on you once too many...that is, cure shock."

"Cure shock?"

Cloud nodded sadly at Zidane. "You've noticed, haven't you? There comes a time when cure spells don't seem to heal wounds all the way? That they reopen real easy?" Zidane nodded. "It's because cure spells use resources from the person who is healed. When you've been cured and the wounds reopen really easy, that's a sign that you need to rest and get something to eat because your body's nearing the end of its reserves. If you don't...you can be knocked into a coma or even die. That's what happened to you...you got knocked into a coma."

"What's a 'coma'?"

"Oh..." Cloud smiled gently. "Basically it looks like sleep, but the best way I can explain it is the person's stuck between life and death. Sometimes people in comas decide to die, but sometimes they decide to come back and live...I thought for a while you wouldn't come back..."

Zidane's eyes widened. Oh crap! I don't think I could've died, but that's scary... Cloud continued, "You're just lucky..that thing in your arm is just one way they tried to help you get over it. I fought hard to make sure they wouldn't do anything worse than that tube in your arm..."

The doctor rolled his eyes. "Echh, I didn't know why you yelled half the time. Now I do."

Yech, I don't wanna know what 'worse' is... Cloud must of noticed the look in his eyes, for he said, "Is something still the matter?"

Zidane nodded, his feelings still in quite a tangle. Did that light...mean I could die? No, can't be right...

Cloud must've noticed the confusion in Zidane's eyes, for he said, "Will you guys please go downstairs? I think this's something that I'd better be alone with Zidane for..."

Both Tifa and the doctor nodded, and Zidane heard a third voice say (whomever it was was somewhere behind him) "Okay, I understand". They all went away, except Cloud.

Cloud then dragged up a chair, sat down, and then turned to Zidane again.

"Now, what's bugging you?"

Zidane sighed. He figured Cloud guessed something was wrong...Not that that's bad. Cloud was the one person who could understand last time...maybe this time too? That made his mind up, so he sighed one more time and began.

"Cloud...it's hard to know where to begin..." He laid back down. "But I'm finding I can remember farther back than I could before...and I don't like it."

Cloud's eyes widened a bit. "It might help to talk about it. What happened?"

His voice trembling a little, Zidane began the story. "First thing I remember now is that light...and bein' stuck in a big glass tube. It's kinda vague though...I kept gettin' stabbed with needles. I don't know how long it was...it's just a blur."

"Now I know why you're bugged by that needle in your arm. Brings back some of those bad memories, right?"

Zidane nodded. "You know, I've had nightmares before of that...just after I went to Terra...and a place you never saw called Bran Bal. A few times Steiner would wack me with the pommel of his sword when I started sayin' "let me out" in my sleep...not a nice way to wake up."

"Erm...Steiner? I heard of him...knight of Alexanderia, right?"

Zidane nodded. "Yep. Then Garnet would usually yell at him, for when he did that, I'd yelp and wake HER up."

"In a tent, right?"

Zidane nodded again. Cloud continued, "Yuck. That knight seems to have been rather dense to not realize you didn't like to be woke up like that. Go on."

"Well, Bran Bal was where I came from, I found out...Anyway, it's all a blur of bein' in that tube and getting stabbed by needles...as well as the blue light...Anyway, it got so at times I was almost awake. One day, I was finally let out of there...I didn't know how to talk very well though at the time. Three days later, this guy (who I later found out was Kuja) saw me and glared at me. He said some nasty words, and then there was a loud BANG. Next thing I knew, I was lying on my face in some woods. Took two tries to get up, I fell once. It was just so quiet...didn't know where I was, only that the blue light was gone. Took me a while to get my legs to work again..." Zidane shivered at that. Yeah, in the Mist, didn't know it was dangerous, but... "I'm not sure how long it was, but suddenly a monster showed up and scared the crap out of me..."

"Lemme guess. You ran, right?"

Zidane nodded. "Yep. Ran a lot, for I kept running into monsters...I was only able to rest enough once in a while to catch my breath. I only got bit once, thank goodness. Then I came upon a airship in a clearing...didn't know what it was, but there was a monster hot on my heels. So I ran for it...into the airship and into someone's cabin. The others there didn't see me, they saw the monster and went after it. I dashed out of sight of the door and then just stopped and panted, just gettin' my breath back. Soon as I'd caught it, I looked around a bit and realized I was safe. It was a nice room. I could feel myself calming down..." Yeah, my heart quit tryin' to leap out of me. I was that scared. "Then I noticed I was gettin' hungry; I didn't know what to eat tho, because nothing was familar. Found a bowl of some kinda sweet-bars, didn't know why I put one in my mouth, but I found that they were good...ate a bunch of them. I went over to the bed after that and sat on it...before I could stop myself since it was sooo comfortable, I'd laid down and took a nap."

Cloud smiled at that. "Heh, you were probably just tired. What happened when you woke up?"

"Well, for one, I was starving...my belly was really complaining then. Also, there was a lady leaning over me...dressed in red, with a red hat with a feather in it. I later found out she was a Red Mage. I was scared for a second, but she was real nice. She knew exactly what was wrong and got me something to eat. She talked to me a lot, which helped. I could understand her perfectly...and she could understand me, even though I had trouble finding the words I wanted to say at the time. She then asked me what my name was and told me hers: Kari. I told her. That was the start of a really happy time..."

"Lemme guess. She pampered you, didn't she?"

Zidane nodded. "Yep. Anyway, it ended when it was discovered I existed. Her boss was mean...he wanted to throw me out. Some thugs grabbed Kari; she yelled, "Run! Get out of here!" and she started casting Fire and Lightning on their rears. I got out of there...the rest is a blur, and then I remember my first few hours in Lindbulm and joining Tantalus. That's it."

Cloud nodded. Zidane continued, "It worries me. I know I came from Bran Bal and am one of the Genomes now...but those memories, especially the early ones, really bug me. I knew I didn't have a mother or a father, but..."

Cloud nodded again. "I know the feeling...at least about the 'tube' part. I may have an idea of how you got those memories back, though..."

Zidane's eyes widened. "Wha? How?"

Cloud sighed. "Best I start from the beginning. First things first: I have a confession to make. Wasn't completely honest with you when we were together last time. Didn't tell you everything on how I got to Gaia; I left something out."

"Wha? Why?" Zidane was pretty shocked.

"Well...when I first arrived, it wasn't in the woods. It was in a cave with no entrance or exit. There was a lady there who tried to say someting...I'm afraid I made a ass out of myself at first. Lost my temper and tried to attack her...she disappeared and reappeared on the top of a pillar..." He went on to tell him what had happened; that Nora the Guardian had known what was going to happen and had asked him to help. That she'd said that Guardians don't lie. The whole nine yards. Zidane was shocked and wasn't sure if Cloud was lying, for it sounded too incredible. Cloud hid..this? Why? It's just about impossible to believe... "You're still lying!"

"No I'm not!", Cloud exclaimed.

Zidane shook his head. Cloud sighed and reached in a pocket. He muttered, "Hoped it wouldn't come to this..." and removed a drawstring bag. He opened it and dumped...a ORANGE materia?! Onto his hand?! He never mentioned that color! Zidane thought. Cloud closed his hand around it and then closed his eyes, concentrating. The materia flared to life; nothing seemed to happen for about five minutes or so. Then out of nowhere a lady appeared. She was...wierd, that was Zidane's first impression. Her ears were pointed, and her eyes were just too green to be allowed. Zidane had never seen anyone dressed in a gown like the one that lady was wearing either.

The lady nodded to Cloud and said: "You'd better be right..." Zidane was slightly puzzled, for it felt like he'd come in somewhere in the middle of a conversation. Cloud smiled at the lady and said, "It's okay, Tara. If he tries anything, I'll sit on him...don't think he can. He's as weak as a kitten..."

It didn't take much to figure out who Cloud meant by "he"; Zidane got a little annoyed that Cloud was talking about him like that and said, "Hey!"

Cloud turned his head. "Sorry about that, Zidane. Should've been a bit more courteous..." Zidane nodded, guessing that Cloud didn't mean what had just happened that way. Cloud motioned toward the lady and then said, "This is Tara, the Guardian of Vida. Tara, this is Zidane.."

Tara startled and nodded; Zidane thought she was acting like a shy and very scared bird. Hmm, I'd better be careful. She's scared half out of her mind... He gently smiled at her. He didn't feel like flirting, but he did his best to put her at her ease without saying a word. (Lately he hadn't had the heart for it) The lady relaxed a little bit, but still seemed quite a bit tense.

"Hello," she said.

"Hi! S'okay..." Zidane answered.

The lady nodded. "Cloud told me through that materia that he needed me to show you that he is not telling you something...that isn't true this time. I usually won't show myself to anyone except Cloud for caution's sake, but...he was quite convincing." She held out her hand, shaking; Zidane carefully took it and gently smiled at her. They shook hands. Then Tara cleared her throat nervously and then said, "I thought you might want to know. My vaskiita, Tara, was very sorry she had to send you here...she was nearly crying inside when she contacted me to help create the dimensional gateway. She wished she could ask you first..."

Cloud started. "Pardon? Vaskiita? What's that?"

Tara turned that way, not seeming to care that Cloud had interrupted her. "Oops. I should of remembered you wouldn't understand that word. It's not a word that translates really well, but the closest is 'cousin'"

Zidane then said, "Erm...'closest'?"

Tara sighed. "The literal translation of that would be "person four times removed from the speaker's aunt". Family relationships among my people, the Kinaari, are complicated, especially when there's a Guardian in the family. Guardians live as long as the planet they are joined to, unless they renounce the Guardian's Oath. It's just the way it is." She backed up a bit at that; Zidane guessed Tara still was very nervy. Bet she isn't used to this... He considered what Tara had said, then answered, "It's okay."

Tara nodded. "What's odd is she's always...cared...about you, though it is certain you've never seen her."

Zidane nodded. Huh, that's wierd. I'd better ask... "True. But why does she care? And why wouldn't she just...show herself?"

Tara trembled a bit, then answered, "She won't show herself because...you are a Hikarii no Takkwon...excuse me, Light Warrior, and until a month ago, you had not fulfilled your destiny."

"Huh?"

Tara seemed to get a bit more courage and then said, "It's something you wouldn't of known. Few who are Light Warriors ever know what they are beforehand--or ever know that fact. As for caring about you; I don't know. She hides it very well, but I've been concerned for her the moment I heard of your existence. She goes...crazy...when something really bad is going to happen to you that is beyond your control. Many a time during this latest adventure, I'd contact her to find her pretty upset, and knowing she could do nothing this time...I fear she has let a curse of the heart take hold of her and affect her judgment. Won't be the first time, though."

"Curse?"

"I can't tell you, for it is a thing unspeakable among us sworn ones to even consider." She seemed to consider a moment and gather what courage she could, then asked: "Everything all right? My erm, cousin, will be asking about you sooner or later...I know her too well."

"I think it's okay; but...I seem to remember things I couldn't before.."

Tara looked shocked for a second, then muttered something like "bevvidk" ...Zidane didn't catch the exact word, though. However, the way she said it sounded like some kind of cussword, so Zidane realized it would be better not to find out what THAT meant. "My cousin said she restored your memories, since what you had just been through had...nearly destroyed them." Zidane was shocked by that. Almost...yeah, she's right. I barely remembered my own name just before I passed out... She took a deep breath. "Since me and Nora are related by blood, I may be able to use my abilities to see exactly what happened when she restored your memories. If I fail here, luckily it won't hurt you, it's just I won't be able to tell you anything."

"What do you have to do?"

Tara tugged at one glove. (Zidane hadn't noticed up until that moment that she was wearing them!) "I'll have to touch you skin to skin...and that's kind of risky..."

"Why?"

Tara sighed. "Because like the rest of my people, I'm a telepath as well. If you don't know what that is, it means I could read minds if I wanted to and send my thoughts over great distances to others. Touching people like that--especially people who are not telepaths...is not liked very much since, well, that causes the other person's thoughts to blast through one's protections, especially if there's strong emotions behind those thoughts. It can be quite...unpleasant if one is not prepared for it and ready to parry those thoughts, so to speak."

"You don't read minds...just to do it, do you?" That idea made Zidane a little nervous.

She shook her head. "I'm well aware what most non-telepaths think of mind reading; that it's a major invasion of privacy, so I won't if I have any say in the matter. Besides, most people who are not of my race have natural defenses against such a thing, which can be very hard to get around without touching the person in question."

Zidane nodded and thought a moment about it. She might get some of my thoughts up her nose...she knows that...but it's worth it. Now that I know that Nora gave me back my memories, I want to know if this was her fault or not.. He then said, "It's worth the risk. Please?"

Tara nodded, then pulled off a glove and touched Zidane's cheek with a bare hand. Zidane then noticed a feeling like if something had brushed his mind; it startled him and sent a chill up his spine, but nothing else happened. She then said, "Seems like you blocked those memories a long time ago...deep down, you didn't want to remember them."

Zidane's eyes widened a bit. Tara continued, "It's been known to happen. If there's a lot of pain in those experiences and couldn't handle them at the time, that's probably why. When you started searching for your origins, the block started to weaken somewhat, so you could remember bits and pieces..."

Suddenly Zidane realized what she meant. "I was having nightmares! You mean..those were those memories!?"

She nodded. "Must of been. Buried Memories come back up in odd ways sometimes. Anyway, when Nora restored your memories, the strain smashed the wall that you'd built around the memories you had hidden behind them, so to speak. It was already weakened by what you'd been through, so don't blame Nora. Guardians like me and Nora don't always know all the consequences of a action; we're not infallable."

Zidane nodded, understanding. She then said, "I'd better go."

Cloud nodded, and Tara disappeared. One minute she was there, the other minute she wasn't. Cloud turned to Zidane again.

"Didn't expect her to be that chatty. She's really shy, usually." He fingered the materia a bit.

"Where did you get that?"

"Nora gave it to me so I could yell at other Guardians if any of them dared jerk me to another world again. She created it with Tara's help."

"Oh, I gotcha." It HAD been the third time he'd been yanked to another world, he said when we met last time, after all. Nora seems like the sort to be courteous...and it was the Guardians's fault it happened, obviously!

"Anyway, she does seem to be fairly concerned about you, which is a little odd." Zidane looked at him curiously, Cloud then said, "Think about it. Why would she call someone out of another world to help you back then? She also wrote this..." He handed Zidane a letter that had his name on it in some fancy script.

"Wha? She wrote me a letter?"

Cloud nodded. "Wrote me one too. She really sounded worried in it..."

Zidane opened the letter. It said:

If you are reading this, I know you've gotten better, thank the light. There are many things I'd love to tell you about...and I wish I could of told you earlier, but there was no way. I couldn't break the laws of the universe without severe consequences and knew it.

I know the last few months have not been easy on you, and I know you still have questions. All I dare say at this time is part of your answer lies within you. Also, a hint I give freely; are the sins of the father the fault of the child? Think about that.

Also, one more thing I can promise you. When you recover from this, you will have your full strength back. That was one of two gifts I was able to give you; the other was I restored the memories that the Ifia tree stole from you. I don't know if we'll ever meet physically, but may you get well quickly. I admit to being worried about you; most of your friends think you died. I can't change that, sorry. Only one guesses the truth, and he does not have much time left...

Anyway, may the Light show you the way!
~~Nora

Under the name, there was something in a strange rune-like language that Zidane couldn't read. Cloud must of noticed that Zidane was puzzled, for he asked, "What's wrong?"

"There's some writing on here that I can't understand.." He showed Cloud.

Cloud glanced at it and said, "I have something similar on mine. I asked Tara; she said that was Nora's name and clan. It's a more 'traditional' signature. It's just that kinda thing doesn't translate very well, she said."

"Wierd too...how can someone who never met me be concerned that way?"

Cloud shook his head. "I don't know, really. Even Tara isn't sure. Nora won't tell her about it. Nora and Tara may be telepaths and know the other's thoughts, but it's still possible to one of them to hide something from the other if one tries hard enough." Zidane nodded. "Also, I find it odd too. She doesn't know you, yet she cares about your welfare enough to find help for you when she could do nothing? That's odd to me..."

Zidane nodded again. He then noticed he was starting to get hunger pangs...they were kind of sullen, but they were there. He put one hand over his belly and thought, Shut up, not now!

Cloud must of noticed, for he said, "What's wrong?"

Zidane answered, "I think...I'm hungry..."

Cloud smiled. "No problem. I'll go and get you something to eat. Won't be long." He left.

Zidane turned around with some difficulty and turned so his face was to the wall. Everything's been turned upside down. Cloud...didn't tell me about the Guardian, why? And what does she mean with that cryptic remark about "the sins of the father"? I don't have a father... Just then, someone YANKED his tail (which he hadn't been paying attention to where it was) pretty hard, making Zidane lose his train of thought. He yelled, "YEOWCH!" He spun around with strength borne of anger and annoyance...just in time to see a little girl run in and run straight to a even younger boy.

The girl said to the boy, "Naughty Loki! Yankin' his tail! Bad boy!"

Loki (That was obviously the boy's name) started to cry. Just then, Cloud came in with a tray. He clicked his tongue and said, "Loki! Did you...?" Loki started to throw a tantrum. Cloud looked at Zidane and rolled his eyes. "Sorry. I didn't see which way Loki ran...he has a bad habit of pulling on Red XII's tail when he comes over to visit. Been trying to keep him away from you."

Zidane nodded, wishing he had some earplugs since Loki certainly could scream. Cloud came over to him, handed him the tray (it had some sandwiches on it, which made Zidane's mouth water) "Be careful, k?" Cloud whispered, then he excused himself by grabbing Loki by the arm and dragging him out of the room. Zidane picked up a sandwich and started nibbling on it; the taste brought his appetite back. (Not to mention, his stomach really started growling then) He started munching on it. The girl came closer.

"Why are you eating in bed? Mom will be maad..."

Zidane swallowed, then smiled. "No she won't. I got hurt real bad, okay?" Zidane guessed the gal was about four or five, so he figured it was best to keep things simple.

She bowed her head and said, "Awww! You okay?"

Zidane nodded and swallowed another bite. "I'll be okay, just don't feel good enough to play with you..."

The girl nodded. "Maybe you can play laaater. I'm Arella. Who are you?"

"Zidane. You been chasing your little bro?"

She nodded. "He's real bad, pulling tails like that. Last time Red wuz over, he said he'd bite Loki if he did it agaaain..."

"He'd better not do it again. I may just take my belt and whup his behind next time." Zidane remembered that Cloud had said that Red XII was a ...nonhuman...person that reminded one of a dog. (He'd also said 'don't call him that or he'd be upset'.) He wouldn't like getting his tail yanked any more than me, I bet.

Just then Cloud came back. "I heard that. Don't use your belt on him, k? Though I don't mind if you swat his bottom if he does it again. He needs to learn not to yank on tails." He knelt and glanced at Arella. "You getting to know Zidane?"

She nodded. "He's nice. When is he gonna get better?"

Cloud cocked his head. "Probably going to be a while. He really got hurt bad..."

Zidane nodded and swallowed. "She can stay, I don't mind her." He took another bite of his lunch.

Cloud smiled. "You sweet kid, you've won someone else over!" He then gave her nose a friendly tweak. Arella giggled.

Zidane smiled and worked on finishing his lunch. Guess I'm gonna be okay for now. I hope everyone else is all right...and I hope I get better soon! Darn that Guardian!

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